Say something about gay babies.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
