"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
how does that bad decision feel?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
