He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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