The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
