when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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