In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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