Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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