It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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