sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
