I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
