i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
