so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i drank out of a bidet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
