My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
