I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
