tell your sister to shave her snatch
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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