I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize