Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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