I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
