ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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