We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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