Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
