ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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