if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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