Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
