Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
there is glitter all over my balls
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