dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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