Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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