Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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