I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
