you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
