I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
