I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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