just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
last night I used snow as a chaser
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