Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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