I love black thongs
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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