There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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