So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ketchup is God's man juice
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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