I cockslap morals
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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