Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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