She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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