I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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