I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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