she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.