Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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