six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
