Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
