My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
