I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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