I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
