I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
