why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize