wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How does one acquire holy water?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
