I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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