We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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