I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
