True but thats because hes a fetus.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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