K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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