so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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