Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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