I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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