i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well you can't waste a boner
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
