and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
