My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
