around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize