What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
