My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
